Regret Soothing: How Aging Can Ease Your Emotions

Older adults report fewer recent regrets than younger adults, finds research published by the American Psychological Association. In addition, although older and younger adults report a similar number of long-term regrets, older adults experience less anger and frustration when they think about those mistakes and missed chances. The research highlights how both age and time shape our emotional responses to past decisions.

“Regrets are incredibly common. Almost all of us experience big regrets in our personal and professional lives – from marrying the wrong person to never finishing college,” says lead author Julia Nolte, PhD, of Tilburg University in the Netherlands. “The good news is that for many of us, the experience of regret seems to become less negative with age.”

The research was published in the journal Emotion.

In the study, the researchers surveyed 90 U.S. adults ages 21 to 89, asking them to list up to five recent regrets (from the past year) and five long-term regrets. Then, the researchers asked participants to focus on their most significant long-term regret and most significant recent regret, describing and rating those in detail. Participants rated the regrets on factors such as how long ago they occurred, what emotions they evoked and how controllable they felt – how much they felt they could to do manage the regret, either by changing their decision or by changing how they felt about it. Participants also described how they were coping with these regrets and how they might handle similar situations in the future.

The researchers found that older adults reported fewer and less emotionally intense recent regrets. They also found that older adults also tended to regret “missed chances” – times when they failed to act – more often than they regretted taking a wrong action.

More work is needed to understand exactly why aging changes the experience of regrets or whether the differences may reflect generational shifts rather than age differences, according to Nolte. Further research could also explore whether regret fulfills the same psychological purpose for younger and older adults, she says.

“It is assumed that regret helps us make better choices moving forward,” Nolte says. “But older adults may derive other benefits from regret, such as a chance to reflect or look for meaning.”

Article: “Adult Age Differences in the Response to and Regulation of Recent Versus Long-term Regrets,” by Julia Nolte, PhD, Tilburg University, Justine L. Lewis, PhD, Tompkins Cortland Community College, and Corinna E. Löckenhoff, PhD, Cornell University. Emotion, published online May 7, 2026. 

CONTACT: Julia Nolte, PhD, can be reached at j.nolte@tilburguniversity.edu